Adjournment: To take a break for any reason or for no reason whatsoever. It is vital for the proper functioning of Parliament, it reignites and rekindles the energy of the members and improves their lung power.
Bombast: Utter nonsense spoken in the House using words and sentences which make no sense. Often spoken in a very loud voice, scholars use the term ‘Stentorian’ to indicate strength of the voice. In aviation lingo, this kind of noise is capable of ‘breaking the sound barrier.’ It is the main language of Parliament.
Cacophony: Loud, noisy chatter more associated with females or the stage. Tends to go on and on, ultimately makes no sense and described by William Shakespeare (a great dramatist, but so-so speller), as an essential human trait ‘full of sound and fury’, signifying nothing.
The Devil: The Bad guy. Villain.Lives deep in the Underworld, cursed by God and Angels but would not give up easily. Gods with multiple limbs are unable to get rid of him, once and for all. Normally supposed to reside in Heaven, but after the victory of the Modi government the majority are rumoured to have entered our world.
Elba: Island where Napoleon was imprisoned by the English from where he sent the despairing message “Able was I ere I saw Elba’.
Filibuster: Members of the US Congress who are allowed to speak on endlessly and disrupt House proceedings, till they fall down dead. So far the Congress has not found a strategy to stop them, though thriller writer Dan Brown (author of The Da Vinci Code) has finalised a strategy which he will reveal in his next book which he threatens to publish if Donald Trump is elected US President.
GOP (Grand Old Party): To be published with earlier book if Trump gets elected under the title ‘Trump’s Trumpet’.
Hindu: One who constitutes the Hindu vote bank, the largest in India, if not the world.Unbreakable, unwooable.
India: Largest democracy in the world. We hold elections…just like that… and enjoy doing so. Remember the time when the US messed up an election enabling defeated George Bush to be the winner and real winner Al Gore, to become the loser? We do better than that.
Jhumritaliya: One of the many unpronounceable constituencies with a hugely musically appreciative electorate. Unless you sing, you don’t get elected from here.
Kissa Kursi Ka: One of the major themes of Indian elections, used in films.
Lotus: Hush, can’t say anything against it unless you want to be jailed.
Modi: Same as above. Never underestimate the teamaker!
Naroda Patiya: Its field was strewn with bodies.They set out on a pilgrimage and returned as corpses.
Om: Just two letters! But so much power, even the lotus trembled before that.
Parliament: O thou art powerful, thou art great, thou create kings and Gods, are you worth all that?
Queen: O, mighty Queen Tulsi Irani, thou hast missed out on mighty Yale, but that is more than enough for the havoc thou hast let loose on poor JNU and academics. Saraswati, spare her, trembles before thee, thou hast done enough.
Ram Dev: The nation is inundated with my cookies, chyavanprash, do not buy poison from drug stores. Modi is immortal because he believes in me.
Smriti: Yes, he is immortal. Let anyone go around him once, they acquire and imbibe all knowledge, become brahaspatis.
This is a lucky nation. Our Parliament ends here. No need for T, U, V, W, X, Y Z!
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V. Gangadhar
The writer is a well-known satirist.[/column]